Your financial goals cannot be a secret when you are in a relationship

Money problems are noted as one of the top reasons for divorce in the United States. A financial journey without clear communication between partners can lead to stress, misunderstandings, and arguments.

Your financial goals cannot be a secret when you are in a relationship. You need to have honest and open conversations with your partner about your goals, challenges, and financial stresses. The conversation is the key here, and this isn’t a one-and-done situation.


You may have grand financial goals, but actually listening to your partner is more important than unveiling your master plan. It’s entirely possible that your vision and your partners are not in complete alignment. Worst case, you are even on the same plane.

The better you are at listening, the more likely you will understand your partner’s perspective. Perhaps financial independence at 30 isn’t that important in their view, and they value the stability of a 9–5 job. Or maybe they feel passionate that a new leased car every 36-months is vital to their happiness.

Even if you completely disagree with their views, listening to their perspective is important. Your time to talk about your goals will come, but provide your full attention to your partner.

State Your Feelings

When it’s your turn to talk, state your feelings about your financial situation and goals. This isn’t a time to confront your partner. Simply let your partner know what’s important to you.

Work Together

Very few people see eye to eye financially. Even if you and your partner agree on most things, you will each have something that is more important to you. This is where compromise is important. There is a middle ground that can satisfy both parties in most situations.

Don’t look to politicians for guidance on compromise.

Money can be very stressful, especially when you don’t have enough to go around. Make sure that you are doing your part to compromise your priorities with your partner. The blame game is a recipe for disaster.

It takes time and effort from all parties to work through challenges with money. It’s important to continue to compromise even after conquering debt and having more breathing room. The goal is to remove money stress and build a path to financial success together.

Keep the Conversation Alive

Your partner probably will not appreciate it if every conversation is about money. Respect that. Most assuredly, you have many other great topics to discuss. However, money and finance are very important to your future. You can’t have one conversation with your partner about money and call it done.

Set up recurring conversations to review your goals and challenges. Don’t make this a painful process.

I hijack the TV and share our budget on the big screen. My wife doesn’t particularly love talking about dollars and cents, but she appreciates knowing where we stand. Perhaps a conversation over a nice cup of coffee is a better approach than mine.

Taking the time to have good meaningful conversations about money and finance is a great way to remove stress from a relationship. Everyone benefits when all parties understand the situation and goals.

My financial goals are not just mine, they are shared goals with my wife. We have hopes and dreams that we feed with every financial decision we make together. We don’t always have the same financial priorities, but we work together to compromise and keep our ship moving in the right direction.